Amy Fraser is the founder of OKREAL, a source of wisdom and inspiration both online and offline for women. We’re proud to partner with Amy to bring her thoughts, inspiration and advice to our Aerie fam.
If someone is feeling lost, where should they get started?
More tips from Amy on getting started:
- Write a diary entry dated 5 years from now. What do you see? Who are you with? Are you on your way to work, working from home, or on vacation? Do you have family or friends around? Who are they? What does your day look like? What is on your to-do list? Tip: don’t self-edit your dreams. You’re describing your ideal life. Don’t place any restrictions or limitations on the possibilities for yourself.
- How do you tell the story of yourself? Always, always, always, be the superhero in your own story.
- Do you have a multitude of skills and interests and aren’t sure how these fit into a typical career role? Write a job description for yourself. The kind that if you came across online, you’d say, that is SO ME! Use this as a guide for the kind of job you would thrive in.
- Look at what you’re striving for. Are these things that you actually want? Or things that you think you should want?
You have an idea. Now what?
More tools from Amy:
- Make a daily win list! At the end of each day, write down three things that you gained, learned or achieved. Success is a moving target and enjoying our small victories is crucial in staying grounded and grateful.
- If you’re working on an idea and looking for support, how can you leverage the people you already know? Who is already in your network, your corner? Can you pitch your idea to people who you trust and will give you honest feedback? Make a list of the people who can help, and howthey might be able to help you.
- You don’t need to do everything yourself! Where can you find a collaborator or a team-mate? Who is someone who compliments your weaknesses and might love the things that you don’t enjoy doing?
How do you push through your fears & take a leap of faith?
More answers to the “what ifs”:
- When you’re starting something new, know that you are never starting from scratch. Even if you have never done this particular thing before, everything you’ve done in your life thus far has prepared you for this moment. You have an arsenal of tools and experiences that have readied you. Fall back on what you’ve already learned.
- If you’re getting stuck on the “HOW can I do this,” go back to “WHY am I doing this.” Your WHY is the fuel to figure out the HOW.
- When you’re doing something brave and your fear is getting in the way, take yourself out of the picture. Make it about the people you are serving and how they’re going to benefit from whatever it is that you’re doing. How can you make this about them, instead of making it about you? Remember: your mission should be bigger than your ego.
How do you set yourself up for success?
More tips from Amy:
- When we’re doing hard things, insecurities are going to pop up and overpower the strong, positive parts of who we are. It’s really important to surround yourself with people who can remind you of what you’re made of—because it’s easy to forget when we’re challenged. Surround yourself with people who remind you of your strength. Use them as a mirror.
- If you’re caught up in a spiral of negative self-talk, I want you to ask yourself: “Is it true?” Is that thing you’re so insistent on telling yourself actually true? Be honest. So much of what we worry about does not exist and will never happen. Imagine if you used that same energy towards building yourself up.
- Whenever I start comparing myself to others, I catch myself and say: you could be using this time towards growing—but you’re choosing to spend your time depleting yourself. My time is worth so much more than this, and yours is too.